Life Full of Intention

Jesus died for you knowing that you may never love him back.

Read that again.

Jesus died for you knowing that you may never love them back.  Such a powerful statement.  That is true love.  He loved every person that was on this Earth and every person that was yet to come so much that he was willing to make that sacrafice.  A sacrifice to die, not just any death, but a grusome death for people who may not even care.

I didn't grow up in the church.  My step-dad's family went to church and when we would visit we would go. I didn't know much about God, except that I believed in him.  I remember I got a Bible for Christmas one year.  I was about 8.  I had it determined in my mind that I was going to memorize it.  I didn't get very far.

On the outside you wouldn't guess that I had a hard life.  And compared to many others in the world, it wasn't.  But to me, it was rough.  I felt unloved.  I felt like others were more important, smarter, and wanted.  It seemed the harder that I tried for approval and love the harder I failed.

Looking back, every bad thing that happened and that I felt ended up serving another purpose.  Each was a part in helping me to become who I am and where I am.  God always had my back.  And even when I messed up, God was there to give me opportunities to fix it, make it right, or to lead me to a new path that was just right for me.

I was not a faithful member of the church.  I had in fact, been to church a handful of times.  I believed in God, I wanted a relationship with him, but I felt totally unworthy.  God could not love someone like me who has made so many mistakes.

But things happened and I began to see the miracles that God had sent; the blessings that God had given me and the second (and third....and possibly the fourth) chances that he had given me.  This love that I had started to experience was new to me.  And honestly, a little hard for me to understand.  I did things I wasn't proud of.  I could hide the past from people, but I couldn't hide it from myself or from God.  And even though I was on a bad path, God continued to bless me.

Why would he do that?  Because he loved me.  He loved me so much and so deeply that that he was willing to love me through the bad.  He knew I had potential.

God 'got to me' by loving me.  Loving me again, again, and again.  He loved me when I didn't even know who he was exactly or what exactly he was about.

Jesus died for me without even knowing if I would ever love him back.  And he didn't go into it loving me just a little to see if I would bite.  He didn't start small.  He loved me with all he had.  And then he did it again.